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Note: This story is part of a small volume of stories that I have posted here previously. They will appear with different names as chapters (10 in all). I think these stories stand alone well, but they are meant to be read as part of a larger work entitled “Divorcing Myself From Myself.”
This chapter, #9, is called “Full Report: A Play in One Act.” It has been posted here previously under the same title.
Thank you in advance for checking this out, and I’m looking forward to hearing what you all think.
Jim
FULL REPORT
A Play in One Act
Two rooms are on either side of the stage. On the left is an older apartment furnished with a mid-century style couch and chair, along with a coffee table. On the right is a sparsely furnished unit with peeling wallpaper, an old couch, a worn office chair, and two folding chairs with a TV sitting on top of another up against the wall far right. As the lights come up, there is a football game on the TV as Tim (late 20’s) enters right wearing a black T-shirt and jeans opening a beer as he takes a seat in the office chair. Meanwhile, Susie (early 20’s) enters left wearing navy sweat pants, and a Sex Pistols T-shirt, with her dark blue-dyed hair, pulled back, and sits down on the couch and picks up the phone, and dials.
Tim’s phone rings, and he picks up.
TIM
Yeah…
SUSIE
“Hey, whatcha doing?”
TIM
Just drinking a beer, watching the game.
SUSIE
Who’s playing?
TIM
Cowboys and 49ers.
SUSIE
Who’s winning?
TIM
San Fran, 17-10.
SUSIE
Are they the Cowboys or 49ers?
TIM
49ers.
SUSIE
Yeah?
TIM
(pause)
Yep.
SUSIE
Why aren’t they called the 69ers?
TIM
Because they’re named after the people who came to San Francisco for the gold rush, which took place in 1849.
SUSIE
Yeah?
TIM
Yep. (a beat) Is that why you called?
SUSIE
Well…
TIM
Yes?
SUSIE
Shanley said she had a good time with you the other day.
TIM
Did she now?
SUSIE
(resisting the urge to laugh)
Yeah. She says you’re a really nice guy.
TIM
A nice guy, eh? Is that all she said?
SUSIE
No…
TIM
What else did she say?
(There are quick breaths as if she is reaching back for the courage to let her mouth form words.)
Well?
(She giggles)
You know, for someone who claims to be a “real tough bitch,” sometimes you act like an eighth-grade girl talking about Donny Osmond.
SUSIE
Okay, okay…she said you’re very handsome…
(She unsuccessfully tries to stifle more giggles)
TIM
That was very nice of her to say. Did she tell you anything else about our date?
SUSIE
No. I asked her not to.
TIM
Oh? Why’s that?
SUSIE
Because I want to hear it from you.
TIM
Hear what?
SUSIE
The whole story.
(Tim sits up and turns off the TV)
TIM
So you might say you want a “full report” from me. Like the one you got from Dawn after we went out awhile back, is that right?
SUSIE
Yes. That’s right.
TIM
Dawn told me you really like getting these…full reports, yeah?
(pause)
SUSIE
Yes, I do.
TIM
You really liked hearing about my date with your girlfriend, didn’t you? You really liked hearing about what happened our date, isn’t that right?
(There’s a moment of silence, and then a deep breath)
SUSIE
Yes. That’s right.
TIM
It really turned you on to hear about Escort bayan me being with your girlfriend? Doing things with her that you do, right?
SUSIE
Yyyyyyes.
TIM
Like going down on her. Fucking her. Making her cum. Hearing those hot little sounds you think she makes for you? The quiet moans. All the sordid details. You fucking loved that, didn’t you?”
(More deep breaths)
Answer me.
SUSIE
Yes. Yes, I did.
TIM
You did what?
SUSIE
I loved hearing about how you fucked Dawn.
TIM
Of course, you did. You really loved hearing about me being with your girl. You’ve set her up with other guys before, but you really wanted her to be fucked by me. Isn’t that right?…Hello?
SUSIE
Yes. It was hot!
TIM
Damn right it was. It was so hot you couldn’t stand it!
SUSIE
No, I couldn’t. I wanted to be there. To see it. To view it all…to hear it.
TIM
Because you like to watch, yes?
SUSIE
I love to watch.
TIM
And that’s why you recruited Shanley to blow me for my birthday, right? You had an ulterior motive beyond giving me a…unique birthday present. You wanted to watch her suck my cock, right? Because you’re a little voyeur and you wanted to get off on it, am I right?
SUSIE
Yes, you’re right. I got so turned on at the idea of watching her go down on you after Dawn told me what she did with you, so I set it all up. And it was hot – so, so hot…watching her lick and suck your swollen purple cock.
TIM
I saw you staring at us, all slack-jawed. You started touching yourself.
SUSIE
I couldn’t help it.
TIM
I know. Because you loved how she sucked my cock. You’re worried that you’re not as good as she is, right?
SUSIE
I want to be the best fucking cocksucker on planet earth. I want to suck your cock and have you cum on my face like you did to Shanley.
TIM
Well, I’ll tell you something. You’re fucking amazing, little lady!
SUSIE
I am?
TIM
Yes, you are. But more about that later. For now, it’s safe to say that you’re both an audio and visual voyeur, aren’t you?
SUSIE
Yes, sir, I am.
TIM
Well, get ready then, because I’m going to tell you what…went down…with Shanley, and your little pink pussy is going to get so wet, you won’t know what to do.
SUSIE
Tell me what happened. Please!
TIM
Listen to you!
SUSIE
C’mon! Tell me about it. Please!
TIM
Alright. Alright. Well, it wasn’t the kind of date where Richie Cunningham borrowed his dad’s DeSoto and took his girl to a movie, and then later, tried to see how far he could get with her at Inspiration Point.
SUSIE
What was it, then?
TIM
Well, she called me after you told me she would, and asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee up at Espresso Roma the other day.
SUSIE
The other “day?” You had a coffee date! During the day!
TIM
It was her idea.
SUSIE
Is that so?
TIM
Sure is, Missy.
SUSIE
So you bought her a…I don’t know…decaf latte with milk and a bagel, and you got a double Americano, black, that they serve in those oversized cups, and you two had yourselves a little coffee date.
TIM
Yes.
SUSIE
And you got to know each other.
TIM
Yes.
SUSIE
And you talked about the teachers that you hate.
TIM
It was actually our bosses, but yeah.
SUSIE
So you went on a coffee date – during the day – and you still saw her naked! I am impressed, sir!
TIM
I bet you are! But Bayan escort you know, we actually had a pleasant conversation. She told me about growing up in Tacoma, where she went to high school, and her fashion merchandising studies in college before she had to drop out, but really wants to go back…
SUSIE
So then what happened?
TIM
Well after we talked about all that, she said something like, “enough about me, let’s talk about you,” so I told her about all my grand ambitions to be in middle management and have the corner office, and to have that beautiful Lexus in my driveway, all before I’m 30.
SUSIE
I bet she was really impressed by that.
TIM
Oh definitely. I showed her that I’m a stable, grounded, mature, well-adjusted adult whose priorities are in order.
SUSIE
You’ve got your ducks in a row.
TIM
My shit is in a pile.
SUSIE
And I bet she was very impressed by how focused, grounded, and together you are, but did this fascinating conversation take any specific turns after that?
TIM
It just so happens that after all the small talk, she looked at me for a moment and told me that the idea for us getting together was yours, and after a moment, she said, “I liked the idea.”
SUSIE
That’s right. She really enjoyed delivering your birthday present. A lot.
TIM
She mentioned that, too. (a beat) So it was at this point that we agreed that we were ready to take this thing to the next level, so we decided we were going meet that evening for a beer or two at Charlie’s, and we headed back down Olive towards our respective roosts, but when we reached Boylston, she turned and smiled and said, “this is where I turn,” and I said, “Oh yeah?” and she had this shit-eating grin on her face as she walked backward up Boylston and then turned around. So I went with her.
SUSIE
Of course, you did.
TIM
We walked a short ways until we found her place in that old brick building on Thomas right on the corner with Boylston, and we went up to her third-floor apartment, and her eyes had this glisten as she looked at me and then fished her keys out of her purse and opened the door.
SUSIE
(breathily)
Yes…keep going.
TIM
As soon as the door closed, we went inside, and we sat down and smoked a little weed, and she put Dead Can Dance on her little stereo –
SUSIE
Great choice. They are so sensual.
TIM
Yes, they most certainly are, and after we finished off a joint, she gave me this beckoning look, and I stepped towards her and gave her a gentle soft kiss.
SUSIE
And you kept your tongue to yourself, even though she snuck hers in a couple of times because you’re a fucking tease!
TIM
You know me too well. That is, indeed, what transpired.
SUSIE
So she took the next step herself, as I told her she’d probably have to because you play these fucking games! –
TIM
That is precisely what she did. She grabbed my face and kissed me long and deep, and then said, “I believe there’s plenty of room on my bed,” as she took my hand and lead me into her bedroom, and started undressing, and I followed suit, and just like on my birthday, she left her panties on, and –
SUSIE
What did they look like?
TIM
Um…they were pink, with Calvin Klein written across the waistband.
SUSIE
Oooooh! Cute!
TIM
Yeah.
SUSIE
She’s got some great little titties.
TIM
Yes, she does. They’re just right.
SUSIE
Those nipples of hers could cut glass.
TIM
That’s true.
SUSIE
So enough about her excellent little titties. She’s sitting on the bed stripped down to her undies, and you’re standing there naked as well with your dick poking out. What Escort happened next?
TIM
Well, as I said, she’s sitting on the bed and she says, “I know from experience that you eat pussy really well,” and she looked straight at me as she slid her underwear off.
SUSIE
Did she lay back and open her legs?
TIM
Yes.
SUSIE
And?
(pause, her breathing becomes more rushed)
Well?
(Another pause. Tim waits a moment, then…)
TIM
I walked over to her –
SUSIE
As she lay there, prostrated, waiting for you to take her –
TIM
Shhhhhhh…I walked over to her on the bed, …and…
SUSIE
Yes…go on…
TIM
Her legs opened…and…her wet pussy twinkled in the light of the single lamp sitting on her nightstand. I got down on my knees and pulled her to the edge of the bed…
SUSIE
And-
TIM
And I…commenced the act of cunnilingus –
SUSIE
Like you did on your birthday –
TIM
Like we both did on my birthday.
SUSIE
You started licking her little pussy?
TIM
Slowly.
SUSIE
Very slowly. The way you always do.
TIM
That’s right.
(She slides her hand into her pants and gasps)
SUSIE
Did it taste good?
TIM
It was delicious. It was perfect.
SUSIE
Did you flick at her clit the way that you do?
TIM
You bet. That made her squirm suddenly and –
SUSIE
She isn’t a screamer, but she does have these rapidly intensifying moans that make me tingle when I hear them.
TIM
Are you tingling now?
SUSIE
Yes.
TIM
Are you sitting up or lying down on your back?
SUSIE
On my back.
TIM
On the couch?
SUSIE
Yes.
TIM
Now, of course, you’ve got one hand on the phone, where is your other hand?
SUSIE
Guess.
TIM
Tell me.
SUSIE
No. I want you to guess.
TIM
And I want you to tell me. So tell me.
(Pause)
C’mon now. I know you want to tell me.
SUSIE
No.
TIM
You can’t wait to tell me.
(Pause)
Right?
(Another gasp)
SUSIE
It’s in my pants.
TIM
Why don’t you take them off? In fact, why don’t you take all your clothes off, and then I’ll tell you how I ate Shanley’s pussy, and how I fucked her.
(Still another gasp)
SUSIE
Okay!
(She puts the phone down, and quickly peels off her clothes, and then sits back down and picks up the phone)
I’m back.
TIM
You’re naked now?
SUSIE
Yes.
TIM
Good.
SUSIE
PLEASE continue.
TIM
Okay. Now, as I licked Shanley’s pussy, she slowly rocked her head back and forth. There were soft moans because, as you said, she’s not a screamer. That’s not her style, but she did let out a yelp when I scarcely bit into her clit and returned to striking at it like a snake – they way you love – and soon she cried out suddenly and she thrusted her pelvis up and held it a few seconds and dropped it, and then did it again. She kept thrusting it like that until she came to a rest.
SUSIE
Was there-
TIM
Sweat on her brow? Yes. So, as she lay there I looked at her and said, “Are you ready for round two?” and she said, “Yes, of course,” and she had me lie down on my back and she mounted herself on top of me, and slowly guided me in.
SUSIE
Slowly? Is she tight?
TIM
You bet she is.
SUSIE
How wet was she?
TIM
Very, very wet. How wet are you?
SUSIE
Drenched. So she wanted to take you in slowly and steadily.
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